I remember the moments before my life changed for the better: getting kicked out during the pandemic, buying my first Bible, turning 24 and realizing I knew nothing, and most recently, walking away from a good man because my spirit knew he wasn’t my forever.
When I moved in with my parents after graduating college, I put myself under the pressure of “getting my life together ASAP,” and that turned into putting start dates on habits I wanted to stop and projects I wanted to start. This is a pattern I entertained for a year before realizing… it wasn’t working.
So, what changed?
As someone who enjoys studying myself and others, I had to look at each pivotal moment in my life that ultimately paid off, and they all had one thing in common—it happened with intention, on a random day, and the change happened gradually, without the pressure I normally place on myself to get it right every single day.
This is why I believe:We can rebrand our lives overnight once we stop putting pressure on the appearance of change and put more emphasis on the intention of change.
What do I mean? Let me give a brief example:
It’s 2020, and everyone is forced to be home all day. During this time, a mirror was put up to my face that forced me to confront toxic issues in my household. It’s now four months later, and I am being kicked out of my mother’s house after an argument that, in hindsight, was inevitable.
Thankfully, I had the support to find a safe place to stay, but in that safe place, I made a decision: I will not be the hurt that hurt me (anymore), and whatever is within me that aligns with that hurt… Lord, heal me.
It’s now 2026, and I am not that same woman. Is the change still occurring? Yes. But I never stressed about how I would change in that moment. I just knew in my heart that was the only option.
Change’s Truth
We have three options when it comes to becoming better people and/or accomplishing our life’s goals:
- Desire change but follow that desire with an “I’ll start when…”
- Be ignorant of who you are and become the person you’re the most afraid of.
- Wake up one day, choose change, and get on the journey to creating a life you don’t desire to run from.
Option 3 might seem hard, but remember: what you put in now… you will see the effects in 5 years.
Looking back, I love the old Nubia… but she was a little off. Still, old Nubia set that intention 6 years ago… and I am seeing the fruits of a decision that stayed in my mind even when I didn’t know how it’d happen.
Next, understand that change takes time, but it all starts when we consciously, intentionally decide—I can’t heal in places hurting me, I can’t grow (properly) in places with low ceilings, and I refuse to stand in my own way.
Lastly, as long as you try, even a step back makes for a learned lesson that could put you on the path of your heart’s desires.
In conclusion,
Change (that lasts) doesn’t happen overnight, but if you have the intention… the key is not to stress the change; it’s to relax and enjoy the journey, knowing you want better and you’re learning how to get there.
If I could give you one suggestion: learn your strengths, weaknesses, and insecurities.
- Let your strengths propel you.
- Don’t let your weaknesses disqualify you.
- Recognize when your insecurities are making decisions for you.
Use the calendar to tell you what day it is, when your next doctor’s appointment is, or your friend’s birthday.
Don’t use it to dictate when you deserve better.
Best regards,
Cloud Nubia
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Feel free to reach out if you have any questions about this subject, we can all learn from each other: nubiahere@gmail.com
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